Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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