OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
my phone needs a breathalizer
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
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Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
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You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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