She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
