thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize