Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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