it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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