How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
