Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
