The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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