are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I look better un-naked...
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Randomize
