He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
is that a dick in a sweater?
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
