He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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