Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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