we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
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