but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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