You're so nebulous sometimes
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
this hospital has no fireball
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
