96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
