Duck Duck Cougar?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
