is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
