That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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