I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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