areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
