I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
