Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
