Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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