we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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