You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
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