My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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