Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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