I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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