What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
