I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize