ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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