The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
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