she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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