I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Randomize
