I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
It's just like the Real World with babies
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
