I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
