if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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