dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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