I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
