How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
i just google imaged poop.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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