Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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