dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
jump out the window naked night went bad
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