i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize