So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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