He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
