Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
