I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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