just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
