Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Where is the hickey?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
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