This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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