I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Randomize
