I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
