I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
