She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
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while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
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the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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