I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Randomize
