i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
