Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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