On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
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I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
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I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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