I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
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