Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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